The Night Will Keep Our Secret
by Faceless Charmer
Summary: Somehow, as time went on, Armin found he could only sleep peacefully when he was next to Jean. Their nights escalate into more then sleep, but the night will keep their secret. And hopefully, so will Connie. MxM. Complete, for now.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, now I'm in the mood to write a Jearmin. But I'm not sure what I want it to be about...should it take place in the SNK universe, or should it be an AU? Let me pause and think it over...**

**Okay, I got it. It'll be based on something my sister and I like to talk about.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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The first time Armin found himself curling up next to Jean to sleep, was a long time back, right after the battle of Trost. Eren had been taken away by the Survey Corps, and everyone was being forced to go on trial, to decide if he was a threat to humanity or not. Armin had spent the whole day cleaning up dead bodies, and sweeping up the ashes of destruction, and by the time it was time to rest, he was exhausted.

But even though he was beyond tired, he couldn't fall asleep in the beds that had been issued to the trainees. Only Jean, Connie, and somehow, Sasha, were in the room with him, the four of them spread out on two bunkbeds. Armin had taken a top one, because he was smaller, and Jean was on the bottom bunk of the bed opposite him, with Connie above him.

In minutes, the others had fallen asleep, but Armin couldn't manage it. His mind was swirling with the things he'd learned and seen. Eren had died, in front of his own eyes. His best friend had been eaten saving his life, and then, he was alive, but he was a Titan, and how could he be a Titan? Armin and his friends had flown through town desperate to survive, and watched as others died, and they lived. So much had happened today, and it had ended with Eren being whisked away before Armin could even thank him for what he had done.

Armin shut his eyes, and tried to force himself to sleep, but it was impossible. He wished he was with Mikasa, because she knew what to say to make him feel better, when she actually gave it some effort. If Eren had stayed, he probably would have gone straight to sleep, but that just wasn't the case.

He shifted, from one side to the next, and one to his stomach. Every time he started to drift off, he'd have a nightmare, and he'd wake up, whispering the names of the people who had died, and mostly, Eren's name, because if he was dying to know if Eren was alright. He knew Mikasa was probably awake too, worried about the same thing. Were they treating him okay? He needed to know.

"Armin?" someone whispered in the dark, and Armin rolled over to face the boy who had called his name.

"Jean. I'm sorry...did I wake you up?" he whispered back.

"Yeah, kinda." Jean said, but it was not unkind. Armin knew he and Eren had a problem, but Jean and he had never had any issues, and he figured that after what they'd all gone through together today, that had only brought them close together.

"Sorry, I"ll be quiet."

So Armin stared back up at the ceiling, trying to be quiet, and figured that Jean had gone back to sleep, since he didn't say anything back. But after a couple minutes, the other boy spoke again.

"Are you okay?"

Armin was silent this time, but then he forced himself to nod. "Yeah. I'm okay. Just...not tired."

Jean scoffed quietly, because that was obviously a lie, considering there was no possible way Armin could not be tired after the day that they had had. "Do you want to come down and talk about it? If we keep whispering across the room, we're gonna wake up the idiot twins."

Armin didn't argue. He jumped down, out of his bed, and silently made his way over to Jean's bed. He sat on the edge of it, and Jean scooted over to make more room for him. The first thing that popped out of Armin's head wasn't what he was thinking about. "Have you seen Marco?" He thought it might be polite to ask, since Marco was Jean's best friend.

Jean sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Not in a couple hours. He's probably sleeping somewhere else."

Armin nodded, and taking the cue, Jean said, "You're worried about Eren."

Armin wasn't sure he'd ever heard Jean refer to Eren by his name. It sounded a little odd.

"Yeah."

"Come on, he'll be fine. For God sake, he survived death."

Armin nodded silently in agreement, and Jean ruffled his hair. The blond had never seen the other boy act like this, caring, and considerate. Without meaning too, Armin fell back on the bed, and shut his eyes. In seconds, he was asleep.

He woke up what had to be a couple hours later, to find himself still in Jean's bed. He looked toward what had been his bunk, figuring the taller boy and taken his spot, but the top bunk was empty. He turned around, and to his shock, he found that Jean was asleep beside him.

Jean had let him fall asleep next to him?

Armin wasn't sure if he should get up know, and go back over to his bed, but it was warm here beside Jean, and he felt peaceful. He scooted just a little closer, so that his head dipped into Jean's chest, and let himself go back to sleep. Just before he drifted away, he thought he felt something, like a hand, rest on his hip. But he wasn't sure if it was real, or just a dream.

He hoped it was real.

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**There, chapter one. This isn't going to be long though, probably just three or four short, fluffyish chapters. I wanted to write the scene where they woke up, but I thought it might ruin the mood. They woke up to Connie and Sasha hovering over them, whispering quite loudly, and teasing them obviously. Jean would have aggressively assured it was just an accident, while Armin would sit silently and blush. Sounds cute, no? **


	2. Chapter 2

The second time, was after they'd managed to rescue Eren from Reiner and Bert, and had retreated back to the safety of the walls. Last time, thoughts of Eren had been what kept him up, but this time, it was thoughts of Jean, and how close he'd come to death. Armin himself hadn't been any better off, but even though he had thought he was about to die, a fair amount of his thoughts had actually been on the unconscious Jean, who was laying in his arms. It's not that Armin himself wanted to die, but he realized at that moment that he wanted Jean to live a lot more than he wanted to live himself.

_'When did that happen?_' Armin wondered to himself as he tossed and turned. The two were friends, and yes, they'd shared a bed, in a non-sexual way, (Armin blushed at the memory) but how had that so quickly put Jean in a higher place in his heart?

Armin was sharing a room with Eren this time, not Jean, and while he was happy to share a room with his best friend, his also wished suddenly that Jean was there. It was an odd thing, more and more, Armin would suddenly find himself wishing, _"If only I was a girl, then Jean and I-"_ and then he would quickly cut himself off, because _what_ was he thinking!?

It was like he had a crush on Jean! Armin searched through his memories, trying to decide if he'd ever felt the way he felt toward Jean. But then he knocked the thought out of his head, quite suddenly, when he remembered how close the two of them had come to death, Armin clutching onto a bloody Jean, and waving the one sword he had.

Armin couldn't take it anymore. He silently slipped out of his bed, and went looking for Jean. Maybe if he just looked in, and saw that the other boy was okay, he could return to sleep peacefully. He found Jean in a room of his own, and stared silently for a couple seconds, feeling like a stalker all of a sudden. Without meaning to, he found himself entering the room, and stepping closer to Jean, trying to be silent, so as not to wake the other boy.

But by the time he reached his bed, Jean's eyes had cracked open.

"Armin?" he whispered, and Armin made an embarrassing squeak, jumping back. Jean smiled, amused by the squeak, and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Armin's heart was pounding. He managed to answer, "I...was just c-checking to make sure you were okay." It sounded normal enough, except for the stutters and pauses, and Armin hoped Jean wasn't looking into it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My head hurts a little."

"You hit it pretty hard." Armin said back, and subconsciously, he reached out and touched Jean's head gently. Jean looked surprised, and blushed, lightly, but enough that Armin saw it, became aware of what he was doing, and yanked his hand back, blushing back. They stared at each other in silence for a couple seconds, each waiting for the other to break the silence.

Neither did, but as Armin watched, Jean suddenly scooted over and lifted the blanket, indicating Armin should get in. The blond boy's heart jumped, and for a second he faltered. He'd been bullied a lot as a child, and for just a second, he wondered if this was a cruel prank Jean was playing. But Jean wasn't like that. Armin had been watching him, and he had a good feeling that Jean...well that Jean was something special.

And maybe Jean thought that about him too?

Armin slowly slipped under the blanket, and didn't think ahead. He should have faced the other way, so they wouldn't be looking into each other's eyes, because then Jean would definitely see his blush, and know what he was thinking. They were eye to eye, and Armin felt their feet tangle together. He expected Jean to pull his feet away, and face the other direction, but they both stayed where they were.

"J-Jean...I..." Armin couldn't think of what to say. What did he want to say? There was no way he was going to say, "I love you," was there? After such a short time?

"Thank for having my back, Armin. If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead."

"O-oh. No...I..." Armin started to automatically put himself down, but Jean silenced him in a very unexpected way.

By gently pressing their lips together.

It was only for a few seconds, but the seconds were beautiful. Armin was pretty sure he felt some kind of electricity run between their lips. A spark. He shut his eyes, because even though he hadn't kissed before, wasn't that the polite thing to do? When Jean ended the kiss, they stared again at each other for a second.

Armin suddenly kissed Jean again, gently and shyly. When he started to pull away, Jean put his hand gently on the back of Armin's head, indicating he wanted the kiss to continue. Armin didn't argue.

He was kissing Jean.

His first kiss had been with Jean.

He inwardly chuckled at what Eren would do if he found out.

They fell asleep about ten minutes later, after a few more kisses, and this time, Armin knew he wasn't imagining Jean's arm around his waist.

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**My sister and I are probably the only one reading this, but I love it anyway. So cute. I know this is a lot to ask, but jeez I wish this could be cannon. Of couse, I'm not the first fangirl to wish for their ship to be cannon, and I won't be the last. **

**Anyway, they totally made out a little. I wanted to actually write the scene, but then I was like...Nah...that would ruin the mood. Damn me and my mood ruining endings. But yeah, they made out a little. They were both shy about though, but Jean got more confidence faster than Armin, and Armin was all flustered.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The third time they slept in the same bed, it was the first time Armin did not come to Jean's bed, and instead, Jean came to Armin. Somehow, Armin had managed to fall asleep, despite the day's events. But once his eyes closed...they could only stay closed for minutes at a time, before he woke up, remembering.

Being tied to the chair...

Disguised as Krista...

Jean tied up across from him...

Dressed as Eren...

He could clearly recall the feeling of fear and repulsion, as that man's hand felt his body, panting over him like an animal in heat. Armin had wanted to cry, and scream for help, but he couldn't because the mission was more important than him. He could take it, he _had_ to take it, for the greater good. That's what he told himself, but he couldn't get it out of his head. Every time he managed t fall asleep, the nightmares would begin, and in them, the man was able to go a lot farther a few gropes.

Now, Armin thought as he woke up for the fifth or sixth time, now he could scream, couldn't he? He wanted to. Maybe screaming would be healing to him. Maybe it could make him forget how disgusting he had felt, and how weak, and scared.

But he held himself back. He didn't want anyone to hear him, and ask him what was wrong, and realize how weak he was. So many others had been through worse, hadn't they? And yet he was going to break down from a man feeling him up?

Armin hated himself then. He hated how weak and useless he was.

Even worse, at that moment, he hated the others too.

He didn't want too, and he knew it wasn't their fault, but as that man had been touching him, Armin had hated them all too, for putting him in this situation, and making him deal with this. He had hated them all.

But not Jean.

Jean had been sitting in clear view of everything, and Armin remembered the look on his face too. The older boy's eyes had been wide with fear, and even anger, and Armin had known that Jean had wanted to help him too. That made him feel better, in those moments of hatred. It washed the hatred out of him, until all he had felt was resignation.

He and Jean had locked eyes across the distance between them, and Armin had wanted to be in his arms at that moment, because he saw just how much Jean wanted to help him, and how hard it was for him to just stare and do nothing.

And then, when the man had started talking to Armin, after they had been captured, and Armin had frozen in fear at the man's words, Jean appeared behind him, putting a hand softly on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Armin." he had said. "I've got this."

Armin had not argued, running off and letting Jean be near him.

Things between them...well, Armin had never felt this way about anyone else, ever before. He found himself smiling every time Jean came into a room, and stood beside him. He blushed every time Jean winked at him when he walked past Armin. His heart thumped fast every time they got a moment alone, and Jean used the moment to press their lips together, bringing him closer to anyone then he had ever been.

They never discussed it. They never asked, "Hey, what does this mean?"

They just let it be as it was, and Armin was happy to let it be that way.

Thoughts of Jean chased away the thoughts of the dirty old man who had touched him. He wanted to run to Jean, but his legs felt too week.

Then, as if he had summoned the other boy, Jean stepped into the room, quiet as a mouse, careful not to wake Armin's roommate, Connie. He came over, and wordlessly, Armin scooted over, making room quickly for the other boy to slide in. Automatically, Jean's arms went around Armin, pulling the boy close, resting his chin on Armin's soft hair. Suddenly, he felt Armin's body start to shake with quiet sobs, and Jean gently kissed his head, rubbing his hands up and down Armin's back soothingly.

"It's okay, Armin." he whispered.

Armin thought he was telling him that the situation had been okay, but then Jean added, "It's okay to be scared. It's okay to cry."

It was if the taller boy could read his thoughts, and heard how weak and helpless he felt if he let himself cry.

"I wanted to kill him." Jean whispered suddenly, and Armin could hear the anger in his voice. "I wanted to hurt him so bad, and I wanted to kill him."

Armin made a sound in his throat, not sure what it meant, but feeling like he had heard something helpful. Jean had wanted to save him. Jean thought Armin was worth it.

"I'm so sorry, Armin. I didn't do anything." Jean's voice was shaking now, and Armin felt him tighten his arms around him, pulling him closer. Armin whispered back to him, speaking for the first time since Jean had gotten in to the bed.

"It's not your fault, Jean. I did what I had to do."

The room got quiet then, as Armin felt Jean's lips on his forehead. "I don't want anyone else touching you." Jean whispered, and he sounded like he was admitting something. "Armin, I won't let anyone touch you again, I promise."

Armin snuggled closer to Jean.

"Jean...I..." he wanted to say it, but he was afraid.

"I love you too, Armin."

They locked eyes, breathing quietly in silence. Armin heard a floorboard creak, and looked up just enough to see Connie opening the door just enough for him to slip out, giving the two boys privacy.

Jean had heard it too, and he sighed. "Do you think he'll tell everyone else?"

Armin smiled. "Maybe. But it was nice of him to give us privacy."

Jean nodded. "Yeah, it was. Now I don't have to be afraid to kiss you."

So they kissed, softly, and gently, and then with passion. And then, when the clothes started to slowly come off, and Jean's hands touched different parts of his body, Armin was not afraid. Not of Jean. This couldn't be scary with Jean. Jean wasn't that man. And the more Jean touched him, the more it felt like the places where Armin had been touched were being washed of the dirt that the strange man had placed there.

With Jean, it was gentle, and loving, and passionate, and Armin had never felt like this before. Not only physically, but emotionally.

It was like he'd found something he'd been missing.

When it was over, and they were redressed, Armin couldn't stay awake, keeping his eyes open long enough only to say, "I love you Jean."

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_I feel all calm after writing this, which is weird. I feel like Armin probably had a lot of emotions after that incident with that man who molested him, but it never really gets touched, and I'm not mad about that, since I realize the story isn't about Armin and his problems, and actually it makes it easier for me to make up my own story. _

_I like how Connie is kind of being included in this story. It should be called, "The Night Will Keep Our Secret And Hopefully So Will Connie." _

_I hoped you all liked it!_


	4. Chapter 4

_I guess this will be the last chapter, unless something else happens that makes me come back and add a chapter. Hopefully it will. Well, not like...a death...I definitely don't feel like writing Armin unable to fall asleep because Jean's dead. _

_But until then, I'll list this under complete._

**Chapter 4**

And then, there was the night Armin killed someone.

A girl.

A human.

A human girl.

He had killed her.

He hadn't wanted to. Never in his life had he ever planned to kill a human. This was supposed to be them against the Titans, but somehow, the government was involved, and now, people were trying to kill them.

They had to protect themselves.

But he hadn't wanted to kill. But she had jumped into his carriage, and she was pointing a gun at Jean, and it was _Jean_, and Jean wasn't doing anything but sitting there, stunned, and Jean couldn't die, so Armin didn't think, he just turned around and didn't think, didn't think, didn't think. He pulled the trigger, and he hit her in the head, and the blood went everywhere.

Jean's stunned look was still locked in his mind.

What had Jean thought of him? What was he thinking in that moment? No doubt he had been afraid. But what of? The girl? The fact that he had almost died? Or...Armin? Was he afraid of Armin? Jean had said before that he couldn't kill another human being. At the time, Armin had admired him for it, and he had wanted to be the same way.

But at that second...the second the girl pointed the gun at Jean...

It occurred to him that he was lying to himself when he said he didn't think when he pulled the trigger of the gun, and took her head almost clean off. He had been thinking at that moment, after all. He had been thinking,_ Jean, no, please, not Jean._

Not Jean.

So, he'd killed her.

Had he done the right thing? When he turned to pull the trigger, he had been sure he did. She was going to kill the boy he loved. But then, as his finger pulled, right when it was too late, he saw her hesitate. She didn't want to kill Jean anymore than he wanted to kill her.

She'd hesitated.

Armin hadn't.

Now she was dead.

But Jean was alive.

Had he done the right thing?

He curled up in a ball, a tight ball, like he could shut out everything in the world. Captain Levi had said he did the right thing. And that had made him feel a little better, but Levi was different from him. Levi was a guy who could do what ever it took to get the job done.

Armin was too, apparently.

He started to cry, loud, sobbing wails. He didn't care who heard him that night. He was so lost. So confused. He needed Eren, but Eren was gone, and he needed Jean more, but Jean wasn't there.

But then, just like last time, like he'd heard Armin's thoughts, Jean was there, pulling him out of the bed, and not saying anything, just letting Armin clutch onto him, and rocking the smaller boy. His hands were tight around Armin, and Armin held him back as he sobbed into Jean's chest. After a few minutes, Jean started to speak.

"Armin, thank you. Thank you so much."

Armin listened, quieting just a little.

"Please don't be sad, don't cry, it's okay. You did the right thing. You did."

Now Armin's cries were hiccups, and when Jean realized he had his attention, he spoke more, wanting so much to calm the boy he loved. It hurt him so much to see Armin like this. If only he hadn't hesitated, if only he'd been the one to shoot the girl, Armin wouldn't be sobbing and hating himself.

"I love you Armin. You're so strong. Don't cry. Please, don't cry." Jean was saying everything all at once, and he figured it didn't make much sense, but Armin had stopped crying.

"Jean...I did the right thing?" he whimpered, and Jean leaned back and wiped the tears from under his eyes.

"Armin, you did the right thing. You saved me, again. Armin there is no one here stronger than you."

And from Levi, hearing he'd done the right thing had made him feel a little better.

But with Jean, it changed everything.

At least for now.

Armin's cries quieted, until he was sitting in Jean's lap quietly, his head slumped on the taller boy's shoulder. Jean stroked his hair softly, and when he knew Armin was about to fall asleep, he picked up the blond, and carried him into the bed. He wrapped his arms around Armin. He wished he could do the right thing, next time. He kept letting Armin down. He let that gross man touch him, and today, he had let Armin that the trauma that should've been his.

"I'll protect you, Armin." he whispered. "I promise."

So quickly Armin had gone from just an acquaintance to somebody he couldn't imagine living without. He'd never imagine that would be the case. The first time he'd seen Armin, he'd thought to himself,_ he looks weak._

But now, he would kick himself if given the chance to go back and do it. Armin was stronger than him, and most likely, stronger than all of them. Except...at night. At night...Armin was weak, and he needed someone there.

And Jean was more than happy to be that someone.

Maybe forever.

Or as long as he lived.


End file.
